Humbled.

I truly thought one of the few things that would be a smooth transition would be school. It never does seem to work that way though, does it? :)

I was truly planning on only taking one or two courses at a small college here in Philadelphia. Nothing too big, but attempting to continue my program as best as I could, despite treatment being SO unstable the last 10 months.  But, no, no. That was not the case.

At the beginning of the week, I finally had the brain power and energy (thank you Bendamustine!) to call and figure out the ligistics of how this would all work out.  I explained my situation, where I was coming from the work that I had done, to the admissions counselor, and expected him to say "Okay, what classes do you want to register for." I had already taken so much time to decide the two classes that actually fit into my treatment schedule, that are doable, and ones I need.

Instead he said, "If you want most of your credits to transfer, you need to re-apply."
"Re-apply?" I said?
I'm thinking, are you kidding me -- classes start on August 30th.
Do you know what it takes to re-apply?
And as if one cue, he says, "To start this fall, You need to get in three letters of recommendation, your MAT scores from last year, transcripts, two essays, and an interview, by the 25th -- do you think you can do that? "
Oh right, and in between, I think to myself a round of chemotherapy. Lovely.

I didn't think I could do it, but I told him I'd attempt. I want this. I haven't wanted something this badly since I left Lesley University in December. I want my life back. And truth be told, I am a nerd. We all know this, and I absolutely, love every second I'm in school. It feeds me. It gives me purpose. It challenges me, and gives me the tools I need for my future clients.

The admissions counselor and I agreed that I could easily crank out the essays, track down my test scores and transcripts, hopefully bang out the interview, but the letters of recommendation would be difficult. Lots of professors are on leave, or teaching summer classes. Other's are busy on summer vacation, we both had doubt in our voices. So, we left it as... I would try, and we would see what would happen.

The next day, I sent out an email to several of my past professors, advisors, co-workers, and other supervisors I have worked with in the last two years. I thought, there was nothing I could lose by trying, right? 


Now here is where the perfect moment happens, in which I can not even put into words how incredibly grateful and humbled I feel towards these women, and the world.  I write one, email, and within two hours -- let me repeat, two hours, I have four individuals responding saying, "The recommendation will be out tomorrow." Or, "Please, Rebekah, I would be honored to write for you... can I be one of these individuals." And along with these responses, comes love, support, and confidence in my ability to continue my practice, that there is a need for me in this field, that they've heard it's been a rough winter, spring, and summer, and they are overjoyed at the possibility of me, little me, re-entering a program, and is there anything, ANYTHING, else they can do.

I cried.

I couldn't contain my emotions. Even though, they have been all over the place anyway. I just, cried, sweet tears, realizing how amazing these women are. How I have been so lucky to connect with such raw, brilliant, funny, and confident women. And they each assured me, our connection -- was not an accident.

There are still a lot of parts to this application process, but I'm shooting for this semester, and these things just make it much, much easier.

Needless to say, it was a humbling experience, and one that has deeply shifted my thinking. I have slowly, started to feed myself with more positive people, and positive things.  Began yoga this week, and of course have been focusing on these essays. This is a moment, I know I'll carry with me, and just wanted to share with you. There are truly, truly, beautiful people in this world. And I am just so thankful that some choose to be a part of my life.

Sending Love,

B