bekah's kevetch

Sweetest Friends and Family,

I apologize for not updating, or detailing the last few weeks. It's been an incredibly draining, collection-limbo-hell. Something I was not really prepared for. When people speak of Stem Cell Transplants. The most difficult parts of this treatment are usually the ICE and BCV chemo, as well as the days after you receive back your stem cells...

Little did we know collection would be so difficult. Or, that it may not work.

To just quickly recap on the last three weeks

• We have driven to Upenn, leaving between six am and 9am (one hour - two hours during rush hours) every morning for the last two weeks. And usually are there till five pm. Getting us back to the house between six and eight at night.
  
• I have been injecting myself four times a day for the last three weeks, with neuprogen, hoping that my bone marrow will produce enough stem cells.
• The nueprogen has caused difficult side effects, most I chose not to share with you.
  
• The surgery to collect stem cells was not only a dangerous one, but painful.
  
• Pain killers are not even touching the pain, that my bones and surgery have left me in.
  
• After a full week of attempting to collect, I am hardly near the minimum number of cells to proceed with transplant.
• We are attempting next week again, to collect, but if I do not reach the golden number by Wednesday. Which does not look likely. I am left with two options.
• Go for another round of chemotherapy, and start this process all over again.
• Stop treatment, and accept that this is all my body can do.
  
• I have not slept in weeks.
  
• I have not returned emails or phone calls in weeks.
  
• Me and my family will be stuck in this limbo until we know if we can go forward with transplant, or until I make a decision to continue treatment or not.
  
• Blood pressure has been significantly low, with heart rates incredibly high, as well as ankles beginning to swell.
  

I apologize that this post, is on the somewhat negative side. I have tried, to hold off until I had better news. However have received so many emails and phone calls, I needed you all to know what was going on..

Much love to you all,
Still fighting,

B