'I feel it all. the wings are wide.'

Last Wednesday was an important scan....

The results showed 'stable' disease. Some nodes increased, others stayed the same, and one or two decreased in size. However, there was around a 17-18% increase in total tumor/node volume. Therefore, my oncologist team feels that this treatment is (possibly) keeping my disease at bay -- this may or may not be true. But we won't know for sure. Between last scan and this, there was a bit of a miscommunication, and I won't bore you with the details; however, nothing is larger than a 4cm node, imagine a small grape, those are the sizes of my tumors.  At this point in time, it's really hard to confirm if the drug is doing something, or this is just my normal progression of disease. Whatever it is though, it has kept my horrible symptoms that were occurring from November to March, to a minimum. So there is the positive.

The difficulty however is still the dramatic allergic reaction I have during infusions. My team and family compare it to 'being in a car accident, once every three weeks.' A few days after my infusion, the pain is so severe that I can only move my neck up in bed some nights.  However, the SGN is actually working longer than we had anticipated, so we're all smiling about that. The pain, the side effects, the travel, the fatigue, in the long and short run is worth it when I have...

 my little brother :)

My dtown fam <3

beautiful, beautiful friends from all over...

strength from myself, 

and all of you...

I continue to put one foot in front of the other, and cherish every minute that I have the energy to enjoy the sunshine, my family, friends, food, and next week -- my new apartment.  

With my 5th infusion behind me (last Thursday), infusion number six will be July 8th. And it appears, with every two infusions we will then scan again to keep a careful watch over this treatment.  Therefore, we scan at the end of July. 

I hope each one of you are doing well. I know there are a lot of warriors starting new treatments and still in the trenches here with me. So, if you have time, please visit some inspiring blogs that are close to my heart, and leave some love. 

Here's to my refractory loves: 

•  Anne who is starting a new chemo regimen, to prepare for her allo transplant.
• Hillary who is going to be juggling chemotherapy with lung treatment as well.
• Chris who will be having a scan in early July to hopefully determine his disease continues to be stable or reduced.
• Marsha, who does not have a blog -- but please send her some warm and positive thoughts as she endures a chemo cocktail that are not being so wonderful to her blood counts.
• And lastly, to Kirsten, who just inspires, and blows me away with her positive attitude as she continues her cancer battle as well. Please read her latest entry and poem, it is absolutely beautiful.

Sending love... to each of you,

Bekah