The last four months have felt like such a whirlwind, when people ask how I am these days I don't even know how to answer. I have been in four different hospitals, with lots of oncologists, and zero answers.
But now, it is up to me. One of the biggest tools for treatment is your mental state. Mine has been pretty tainted and shattered the last few months, but unfortunately, that can't be an excuse any longer. I begin a new treatment on Thursday, and I have to be ready.
My body is still weak, so my hope is that this will be an 'easier' treatment than my past clinical trials. I can hope, right?
To kick start my week, the vote is in and the legislation has finally been passed for the health care reform bill! I'd go into more detail this morning, but I think Hillary does a pretty great job putting it in a nut shell. For me, it basically means when I graduate I won't be discriminated against for having a pre-existing condition, but it also helps me in other area's too (capping on health care, Medicare part D which I'm struggling with right now) But, Hillary explains it in her blog, read it, be as thankful as I am. It may not be affecting your daily life, but soon, it will be affecting mine.
[Edit to add: a dear friend of mine directed me to this website, it definitely explains this bill in an easier fashion you can read this legislation, here.]
Normally, I have a huge fire burning at this point before a treatment. But because of all the sickness, and in and outs of the hospitals. Mine is dimming a bit. No worries -- it's still there. I still want to fight. I'm still here. My goal is still to move back to Boston as soon as possible and continue my program. But if there was ever a time when I needed some cheerleaders -- this week would be the week.
The calm before the storm is here, and all I can do now is focus, keep myself cenetered, and tell myself that this will work, this treatment will work, and these symptoms will fade, and this is a good choice.
Here's to good choices, new treatment, and more positive changes...
8 comments:
Go Bekah, Go Bekah..........you KNOW we're with you in spirit, girl and if anyone's got the strength to do this, you have.........love as always......Vx
Hey Bekah, i'm in your corner of course! Soon I'll be taking that leap of faith myself...
Here's to better results on our next trials :)
Chris
Hey Bekah
I think it's such a positive sign that the Healthcare reform bill was passed! In the week you start treatment again ... Take it as a sign that the angels (of every religious and other denomination!) are with you. It has to be a sign of fresh new possibilities for so many people in America and that most specifically includes you!
With you in spirit ... :)
Give me a B
Give me an E
Give me a K
Give me an A
Give me ah H
What do you have!
TRUE BEAUTY!
Go girl.
Blessings to you.
Linda - Darcy's Mom
Hi Bekah,
Hopefully you remember me. I found out about you through Alison on Adrienne's site. Anyway, I hope this week serves as a turning point for you for the better. You definitely deserve it!
Best of luck to you,
Jack
Dear Bekah, you are such an inspiration to us all. I hope this treatment will be kind to you and get the job done. My thoughts and prayers are with you as you continue your battle. We are all here for you cheering you on.
Love ya
Sharon
I hope this treatment is not harsh on you and helps you to move on in a healing direction. You can do it; look at what you have already done. You probably never imagined you would be such an inspiration to others in this way--but you are.
Take heart and take care.
JoAnn
Hey Bekah,
Always with you all the way.
Warm thoughts and tight hugs for you and your Moms,
Love
K
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