Too good to be true?

First, thank you all for being patient with me this last month. I personally, was able to take some time away from blogs, cancer information, boards, and some communication in general. And, basically basked in the glory of good blood counts, and visited friends and families during this holiday break. It was nice, to not have to think of my heath twenty-four/seven. And, I just wanted to thank you all, for giving me that space.

For the first time, in a very, very long time. I had planned the next set of treatment (the Doxil, drug), since my platelets were not doing well the last few months. But, much to our surprise. In the last month, every time my levels were tested. My counts have slowly moved up. Today, we reached an all-time high of 115. Which is amazing. Not only are my counts holding, but they are slowly moving up. Which means, I can not get booted off the trial due to my blood levels anymore. (Hip-hip-horay!).

In addition, all of my other counts are going up -- which means, I feel great :)

So, it appears that this dose of drug. Is tolerable. Livable. and I'm having a wonderful, quality of life on it. So, why have I been hesitant to post this incredible news?

My upcoming CT scan. On January 30th.

With the dose being this low (15mgs of LBH), the doctors are hesitant, about the outcome of this scan. With the higher dose, there was definite reduction of disease. But, with this low of a dose, it appears, no one knows, really what the outcome will be. Will this low dosage, be able to keep the cancer at bay? Or are only the higher doses of LBH the ones that have the ability to reduce my disease? So, we will see.

For now, everything is moving in the right direction again. My program started a few weeks ago, I absolutely LOVE what I have gotten myself into ;) My orientation was a-mazing. I met some incredible people, and professors. And, am pleased that I made this jump into a new professional direction. My counts are great. My energy is decent. My smile, is usually pasted on and REAL 95% of the time. So, I'm sure you can all understand why I am a little skeptical, of this scan.

My ducks, once again, are all in a row. And, although, we are prepared to change treatment, if the scan shows progression. MY GOD. wouldn't it be nice, if these last two months could continue throughout my semester?

To just have stable disease. Just seems, too good, to be true. With, everything else. 'Working' in my life. But, we will just have to see. Again, I wanted to thank you, thank you, all. For, your voices of concern this last month or two. It's been so nice, to feel normal, for a bit. And, take some distance, when I can. For now, we once again will prepare for the worst (progression of disease), but hope for the best (stable disease).

And, no matter the outcome, just be aware. That I am so incredibly thankful. I had some flawless weeks, of normalcy, happiness, and lots of smiles with friends, family, and my education.

Sending Love,

B