I have learned, that no matter how much pain or discomfort you are in. You can still maintain a point of being grateful. And today, since my blood levels were somewhat in the 'good' category. And, I had a few extra things to smile about. I wanted to share them.
Even though, everyday, I write down at least five things I'm thankful for. I don't share them too often, and today, I just felt, they needed to be shared.
Today, I am grateful for:
* Good blood levels
* Some bad-ass CD's i received in the mail from Jessie O , with songs that have never made me cry, in such a soul, clenching, beautiful way. I'm so grateful for you J.
* Filling my two cavities. THANK GOD. no more mouth pain.
* The colors in Boston today.
* The dental assistant that told me I have seriously the cutest hair and glasses she's ever seen.
* The young man that asked me out to coffee, lets re-state that, the hot young man, that asked me out to coffee. In which I politely declined. (I need some Bekah-time boys, sorrrry)
* The silver, absolutely, jaw-dropping, beautiful bracelet that Darcy sent me, engraved. Which again, made me cry. Sisters, my love, that we are. I'm so grateful for you, d.
* My friends in Boston who are bringing me milkshakes, slurpees, and smoothies whenever I allow them. and call and call and call.
* Lowering my dose of drugs! so I can hopefully have a life this week.
* Alison and Adrienne, for showing me, I can do this. I can do this. I can, and will do this.
* Crepes, with brie and mushrooms from coolidge corner.
* A family, who really, truly, cares.
* My moms. my moms. my moms. who fight about how to hang a curtain in my apartment, but will drive six hours to help clean my living area, so I don't feel overwhelmed.
* Cards from women, who make this world worthwhile
* Wearing a scarf around my neck, this fall, and not on my head.
* Finding rock bottom, and still being able to look up.
To cut through the bull, last week was possibly one of my darkest weeks I've had in the last two years. But, I'm slowly climbing out of it. My drugs were lowered, hoping that my blood levels will somewhat allow me to function outside of my lovely apartment. As well as a PET scan has been scheduled for October 31st, to see... what? To see what's going on in this cute body of mine.
For now, though,
let me just be grateful.
This week marks six months post transplant,
and although I am not cured,
I am
still here.
<3 B
13 comments:
Much love, my sister, my hero, my bracelet twin.
Rock that Halloween scan, Bekah-boo.
Thinking of you always, lovely.
I've been following your blog (albeit silently) for quite a while. Today however i felt compelled to comment.
Your attitude honestly puts ME to shame. I am not sick, although i do suffer with mental health issues and i have a terrible negative attitude all the time. I am very much "woe is me". Reading your blog today, you are greatful for so many things. I am too blinded with my problems to see what i DO have. I focus on how limited my life has become.
Thank you for writing such a lovely blog today. Its a big slap in the face for me, something that i have needed for a very long time.
I wish you all the best.
♥
Hi Bekah
So happy to read your blog today. You are so strong and have touched so many lives in your young years. Keep fighting....you will prevail!!! I hope this week is better for you. I think and pray for you often.
Your friend
Karen (Long Island)
it wasn't a curtain- it was a curtain rod
and it wasn't an argument- it was a strategy dicussion :)
you weere born with a powerful spirit rebekah- even in the darkest hours- it seems to carry you
see you fri
love
the moms
Sending you loving and supportive ((HUGS)) as always Bekah. You are our hero and we love and admire you for who you are, how you are handling the trials you have to deal with and for all the wonderful things that life still has in store for you when you are cancer free once and for all. The battle is worth it...you are worth fighting for. Keep that fighting spirit...even during the tough days.
((HUGS))
Susan
I read your blog as often as internet access permits, and all I can say is...you make the earth fuller, richer and so much more beautiful because of you.
Keep up the counts. Every post of yours I read gives me hope that I'll get to that point. What no one ever has mentioned in any of the reference books or medical crap they've given me is how much during this time at the hospital I'll be moved to tears. Sometimes bad, but most of the time in the past three days, really good.
One thing that I have started to appreciate is the value of a good tear, and how therapeutic that may be. Your blogs, your optimism, and your strength are something that I can only hope to have 6 months from now.
Good luck and thanks,
Brian
lookin forward to some kick ass scan results sunshine....
love ya,
j and fam
I have followed your life story for the last year, Bekah. I found you because I thought I might have Hodgkins (I don't).
You are truly one of the Lights that God (or whoever you believe in) has put on this earth to lead the rest of us. You show us how to live in the dark times. Better yet, simply show us how to live with spirit, gratefulness and grace.
I send you love and strength from Cajun Louisiana,
Robin
I, fucking, love you too.
I'm there with you, sugarplum.
Bekah-
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. You have a beautiful soul. You have an AMAZING strength. YOU ARE AN INSPIRATION.
Stay strong hun.
~Stacy xo
good luck bekah, strangers are following your story, like me, and rooting you on!
-linda in wellesley
You really give me strength. Thank you.
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