Smooth Sailing...

The one constant thought, that remains in my head from other survivors finishing treatment, transplant, or just going through this process is that. One day, you actually wake up -- and if you're lucky (like we all hope I am), we never have to go back. We don't have to go back to the chemotherapy, the IV poles, knowing all of the nurses, putting our lives on hold. If we're lucky, we get to move on.

Along with this gift; however, comes some emotional baggage. From most survivors, you are never truly 'done.' Sure, we may wake up and leave the hospital, our ports may be removed, our hair may grow back. But we are never truly able to escape the memories, or the fear, that it could always come back. And just as some may say, 'Well, you never know you could get hit by a bus...' It's a little different in our case. Therefore, if you know a survivor, a friend, a family member, someone who is still going in for scans three years later to make sure the cancer is still not there. Try to slip on our shoes for a moment. We have fought, tooth and nail to be healthy, and in a moment it could all be taken away...

Therefore, we cheer when other survivors have clean scans, we smile up at the bright skies when someone has hit a remission, we hug and cry over simple small things that others have no idea about. It's a bond, not many can speak of, unless you're part of this community, but one I wish to share with you. Because, I have felt blessed enough that others outside of survivors, have cheered me on -- you know how everyday can influence our lives. In a moment or a second.

As for me, I am on day +23 after transplant. I had my first check-up yesterday. No transfusions necessary, medications are starting to slow down, and no blood work for two solid weeks. Although the fatigue is definitely keeping me from going out and being the twenty four year old I want to be. I'm able to work out twice a day, and am starting to catch up with friends.

I've also been informed, that I will be more than capable of taking over a full time teaching position, come September. (can we all cheer now?!). So the next few weeks will be dedicated to finding a job, because... once again I'll be moving back to Boston in August, to attempt to start this life over again.

Now that I'm on the other side, things are definitely looking up.
Just as the wisest woman, we all know said --- the only way out is through.

And I think I'm on the other side :)
Smooth Sailing from here kids...

All my Love,

B