Thursday, March 6, 2008

A perfect moment


There are very few moments in my life, where I would say they involved perfection. Or anyone's life for that matter. I think to myself over the last year how much cancer has caused pain upon my family, my friends, me. I think of how this disease has left such a sour and bitter taste in my mouth. But, in contrast, we must realize without those moments, we would not be able to acknowledge how incredible other moments are.

perfect, sweet moments.

  • Tuesday...
On Tuesday, the 4th, I had a scheduled PET scan. A PET scan determines the metabolic activity taking place in your body. In other words, it reveals how much cancer is still active or not active. Once we received the PET results, it determines whether this form of treatment is working. If these last two months have been worth it.
  • This morning...
I sat in a fixed corner, across the room from my mothers as they looked out at the sights of Penn tower, and I connected eyes with my lovely nurse practitioner. She knew, as well as I, that we have been desperately waiting to hear this news. And quietly sat down next to me, discussing the results. And what they revealed. I gave her a hug and walked over to the two women who have literally carried me through the last two months of treatment. And watched me at my ultimate worst and weakest.

Looking at both of them, I repeated what was said in that lovely whisper.

I am cancer free.
There is no sign of any disease.
The PET is completely negative.

To be honest, I put my arms around both of my mothers, and cried. I couldn't stop. With the help of both of them, and so many of you. I have beaten cancer for the second time. And I will hold onto this moment, in a deep place within me.

  • Tomorrow, and the next day...
We still have a very long road ahead of us. However, for now please enjoy this news as much as I have. It is yours, as much as it is mine. For now, my family and I will bask in the glory of the these results, rest, relax, and prepare for round three of ICE, which begins Wednesday, March 12th. And ever so gently, take in, this perfect moment.

All my love
to all of you

B

32 comments:

laulausmamma said...

BEKAH'S PET SCAN IS CLEAN...SHE'S CANCER FREE - I shout these glorious words out loud for the dog to hear!! A whisper just didn't do my joy in reading your words justice Bekah : } Thank you for sharing your wonderful news...I know your forum family will be just as thrilled as I am when they read it.
Enjoy the next week of being cancer free again...and go into round #3 just as fiercely and determined as the last two times. The victory is yours Bekah.

Super ((HUGS)) to our warrior princess.

Susan

Sivan said...

Ohhhh Sweet Dear Bekah - I can't stop these tears of emotional excitement! A perfect moment indeed! I am squeezing you with happiness from all across the country, here in California! You give me and so many others such powerful inspiration. You are beautiful and amazing!

Love to you and your amazing mothers from all of our family!

Veronica said...

You and your amazing body have made SO many people overwhelmingly happy as they read this news..............here's to no more Hodge and LOTS of star-gazing :0).........enjoy today - I know you will............xx

Wullie said...

Made the mistake of opening your blog at work again and am crying... again!

You have us on one hell of a ride, lady!
Wooooooooo Hoooooooo!

Loads of love.

Wullie

Anonymous said...

Bekah,
So pleased (beyond pleased) to read of the wonderful PET scan results! Welcome back to the world of clean scans and may they all remain that way forever again! Having just had my first post SCT scan a week ago, I can tell you that it's just a matter of time before you'll be looking back and saying it was tough but so worth it! Keep up the strength and day by day!

Anonymous said...

Bekah... you are a warrior woman! the stars smile
Val

Steve said...

BREAKING NEWS: BEKAH KNOCKS OUT THE HODGE IN THEIR REMATCH IN ROUND 2.

YEAHHHH!

Awesome news, babe! I'm glad to hear you're squeaky-clean, and I know how it feels to find out the crap has been worth it and making results.

Now you keep it up!

j said...

happy tears here
i knew you could and would sis
i just knew it
gotta go
and dance
j

Anonymous said...

Amazing, I am so happy for you Bekah!!!!

This good news will help you to keep fighting and beat Cancer forever :)

Love,

Cathy
Life32 from Lymphoma.com

Brandy said...

Sharing in those happy tears here as well. I am so happy to read this wonderful news!!

You will get through round 3, and we are all here behind you.

Much love,
Brandy

laulausmamma said...

Still feeling your joy Bekah...happy tears and smiles for you today....we're all celebrating with you. What a happy army of supporters we are : }

Have a wonderful weekend with your loving family.

Susan

Adrienne said...

YYYEEEAAAHHH, congratulations. What a great feeling. I hope you all can savour it and have a wonderful, wonderful weekend. We love you. Alison and Adrienne

Rebecca Howell said...

I am so happy for you, Bekah, I can barely breathe. Congratulations, beautiful one. You are truly amazing.

Anonymous said...

oh Bekah
omgravy
i havnt lft a commnt bfor, bt i do reed......
bt THS time
i HAV to
freekn YAY YUO
trutth

see, as yuo ar lookn at tth stars above.....we'v bn wachn tth one down heer :)

Kelly Kane said...

Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm soooo happy for you deary!! I'm also sorry I missed your call last night, now that I read this, I'm assuming that's what you were calling to tell me! I'll try and call you tonight!!!!!!


XO!

Anonymous said...

Absolutely wonderful news, Bekah- happy, happy, happy for your results.

Mary said...

Thank God!!

I'm so happy to hear your news. I know how great it is to hear those words.

Thinking of you as always.
Mary

Dennis said...

Congratulations Bekah! That is just fantastic news.

Caroline said...

Bekah, here is the coolest part about this journey you have taken: While we all knew and had faith that you would beat the cancer, YOU had the faith that made us all believe in you. You are so powerful -- so much larger than that cancer. Bless you, bless you, bless you ... I thank the universe a thousand times for your recovery.

Love -- Caroline Shannon

Anonymous said...

You freaking rock! Yay, yay, yay!!!! What great news.....thinking of you....
Erin & Zach
caringbridge.org/visit/zachrongers
erinandzach.blogspot.com

Anonymous said...

Crying.
Love.
See you Sunday.
Jake.
More Love.

Veronica said...

Hope today brings many more of those perfect moments.......24 WITH CANCER NO MORE ........<3...........xx

laulausmamma said...

HAPPY 24TH BIRTHDAY Bekah dear. Hope you have a wonderfully happy day celebrating with your loving family and friends.

Big squishy ((HUGS))

Susan

Sivan said...

Happy happy birthday dear Bekah!
Sunshine and smiles and lots of love!

Anonymous said...

Hi Bekah,

What a wonderful, wonderful birthday gift. We are so thrilled beyond words to share in your, aptly described, perfect moment. True beauty and courage is what you are.

Happy Birthday,

Bob and Mary

Anonymous said...

Awesome news! You're definitely fighting this like a lion, not a lamb, this March! I'm glad you're home and feeling better, too. Janet

Duane said...

There couldn't be better news!!!! I'm so happy, Bekah. :)

And as if that wasn't enough of a reason to celebrate, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!! ;)

sarah said...

I knew you would do it, B. Thinking of you every day,

S

Unknown said...

Dear Bekah...I was so happy to read your news. I was away from home yesterday and missed your birthday, but just wanted to stop by and wish you a belated happy...my son will turn 24 in August. Maybe that's why I feel a bit of a connection to you sweetie.

I truly hope this next round is easier on you and you can get on to the big show. We are all cheering you on beautiful girl. You are amazing indeed...

Veronica said...

Just want to wish you all the best for tomorrow, B..........hope this 3rd round, your renewed spirit, and the knowledge of being cancer-free, makes everything go that bit smoother.
We'll keep EVERYTHING crossed that the fevers stay away this time and that you get out of hospital on time and stay out!
Take care and know that we're thinking of you constantly........xx

Melanie said...

Dearest Bekah,
There IS good in this world. I can't even tell you how happy I am for you and your family. As I was reading, I was so hopeful that those wonderful words "cancer free!" were going to be there!
You are absolutely amazing! Carry on great warrior! Lots of love from snowy New Hampshire.
Melanie

laulausmamma said...

Round 3 is about to begin...keep up your fighting spirit Bekah dear. Feel our love and strong positive vibes as you head back to Upenn tomorrow. Hope this is the easiest round yet...get in and out quickly and stay home once you're there. Super squishy ((HUGS))

Susan